The Birthday Police

When someone in the office has a birthday at my school, the tradition is to do treats to celebrate, so I knew that was going to happen, or at least assumed. But the Friday before my birthday (Saturday) this year, I got so much more than treats and I had an amazing laughter-FILLED day and some twisted, unexpected turns.  I actually have to briefly start the story Thursday night. I said goodnight to Kiara and headed to bed myself to read. A bit later, Kiara text me that she thinks her phone broke and then comes to show me that her screen is showing her apps very strangely, like they were running (think watercolors) down her screen. I told her we'd look at it in the morning as there was nothing we could do.  The next morning, she brings it to me and it is much worse, with vertical bars going through the screen. I tried restarting it to no avail.  I told her we'd have to go get it checked out later and we left for school. Pause on that portion of the story...

I walk into school about 25 feet behind my principal and there were students at the entrance who immediately greet me with "Happy Birthday, Mrs. Witmer! We hope you have a great day!". I asked them how they knew and my principal just smiled and shrugged.  As I walked into the office each person greeted me with a loud happy birthday. I got to my door and found this: 

Opened the door and found this: (The office ladies call ourselves the Golden Girls, each assigned as a person that eerily we are each like. And last year, I MAY have started a tradition of leaving cut-outs with silly bubble conversations for people, so the favor was returned.)

And then was made to wear this for the day...like MADE. Each time I took it off, it was put right back over my head, a little roughly, I might add! HA!

I was flooded with co-workers and students wishing me a happy birthday and had piles of gifts on my desk for me, along with a Dunkin Donuts coffee. I felt so loved. I could write a different blog on how special it is to me to work in a place that I feel loved, appreciated, and belong...but that's a different post. During our homeroom I had a student I'll call "Susie" come to see me and give me birthday greetings and a hug. This brings me back around to the phone.

Susie asks me why Kiara left her phone in my office. I picked it up to show her the now, much worse, screen. Susie asks if I tried restarting it and said "Let's try it again, just in case."  More people are stopping by and I'm chatting when all of a sudden I hear the sound of the SOS on the phone and the 911 operator!  Susie threw the phone at me and I told the operator that all was okay and that we were working on my daughter's phone because the screen wasn't working and that I was so so sorry about bothering her. She recorded my name, verified that I was calling from within the high school and we hung up.  We burst out laughing and proceeded to tell the other office staff what happened and I sent her back to class. About 5 minutes later, my principal, who can be a joker, sticks his head in my office and says there are two policeman there to see me.  I said "Ha! HA! Very funny!"  He told me he was serious and that they had asked for me by name. I.  Was.  Mortified.  They came around the corner and as I floundered showing them the phone and telling them what had happened, they proceeded to tell me it was a crime to give my daughter an old phone and just gave me an overall hard time over it. We were all laughing so hard but I was so embarrassed. Apparently when they came in, they had told my principal they were responding to a 911 call within the building and asked him to call me to the office (thinking I was a student)...when they all realized who I was, they decided to give me a hard time. I immediately had to go tell "Susie" what had happened and she was so embarrassed. I will never let her live down that she called the police and got me in trouble on my birthday (well...the day before). As I was down the hall, one of the staff came to get me saying I was needed in the office right away. I thought something was wrong and immediately started walking quickly and asked her what student was there that needed me. She stammered and stuttered and I realized she was taking me back to be sung to for the birthday treats time. As I turned the corner into the office, all of them were gathered to sing like normal, with the addition of my daughter, whom they grabbed out of study hall,  and two very nice police officers who stayed to sing to me! I invited the officers to share in the treats since I caused them to come out to check on me. Although they declined to eat any snacks they did hope that they wouldn't have to come back and see me again that day and told me to behave myself and upgrade my daughter's phone! HA!  

The rest of the day was filled with love, laughter, Mean Bean for lunch, football game with some of my teacher friends, and so much smiling and laughing.  I claimed this year as my year of FUN! And this day was definitely one of the highlights in a lot of ways.

Oh...and the phone upgrade happened the next day, on my actual birthday, which is an ENTIRELY NEW story and new blog post. Stay tuned for more...

Won't HE Do It?

I have worked more this summer than usual due to some circumstances with students as well as a new Counselor Connect that I started this summer, where I hold open office hours once every two weeks to allow any student to come in and chat, catch up, or seek counsel.  The beyond cool thing is that I have seen God move in mighty ways and it has brought me closer to Him and found me in complete AWE of the way that He works. Obviously because of confidentiality, I cannot disclose the specifics of how God moved...but man, if I could...you would simple be amazed. I have no doubt!!!

In one situation, it was very much an up and down (daily) situation that had me with sleepless nights, prayer-FILLED days, on my knees or walking miles in prayer.  I had NO control whatsoever which made me fully rely on my faith that God has ultimate control. Not going to lie that there were many days that I had to grit my teeth and pray to God: "I know you have a plan and You work all things for good, but right now, I don't get what you are doing. I don't think you are getting it right. Why would you allow these things?" And don't you know, that EVERY SINGLE TIME God answered and showed that He was good???  Not necessarily immediately...those were the sleepless nights, but without fail, and honestly in ways that had me scratching or shaking my head and saying "Well, won't He just do it?" There were times where I was sitting with hands covering my face crying out to God in anguish...and then times in the same position crying and saying "Thank you Jesus. You are amazing and so so good".  

We all have times that we doubt God's plan...at least if we are honest, right?  But this summer God showed me over and over and over that I could be honest about that doubt...I could come before him speechless, simply crying out "Jesus help" and He would show up over and over.  I had one day where I literally had no words and I was scared, frustrated, and honestly wanted to shake my fist at God over the unfairness. I literally had no words when I tried to pray...I just sat there.  But I KNEW that prayer was needed...so I hopped on my podcasts app and found a podcast that had prayers on different topics when you weren't sure how to pray.  So I laid on my bathroom floor and said..."I don't know what to say Lord, so let THIS be my prayer" and I played it. I ended up playing that prayer multiple times throughout that day and though the words weren't coming from my mouth...I know that God heard every single word as if it was and he showed up that day too. Over and over He showed up and showed Himself to be good and that he works in very mysterious ways...in HIS ways, not ours and definitely not how we think He will.  And when I say He showed up...man I wish I could share the details...only because sometimes it made me laugh out loud, cry out "Hallelujah" in the middle of wherever I was, and sometimes dropped me to my knees in awe.

Sometimes the confidentiality thing is TOUGH.  Because I need to process too.  I need wisdom and someone to tell me that I'm handling things "correctly"...God became that in a big way and He showed me a group of friends that I could text: "PRAY...just pray for _____________________ (protection, strength, wisdom, God's intervention)" and they would drop what they were doing, knowing no details at all...not knowing who was involved, what the situation was, if I was okay...and they would pray. And then they would follow up to see if there was resolution...if the need changed, how they could pray for me in the midst of it. (I have amazing friends by the way...I have a small crew, but they are mighty!!!) There is power in prayer you guys.  I have known that for years but this summer God showed me in mighty ways. You see, He showed me that when we don't understand the plan, that doesn't mean He doesn't have a plan. And sometimes it is WILD ya'll.  

So my take away from some of these situations this summer and some of my own personal struggles?  Just pray...when there are no words...He can still hear our groanings and the Holy Spirit intervenes. (Romans 8:26) He is working. His plan is perfect (even if it looks crazy to us). He works in bizarre ways that we can't predict...because when we seek His counsel and intervention....I have learned that I always can look back at the end and say...

"Won't He do it?"  Without a doubt.  He will. 

I'm still here....seeing His goodness

 Haven't posted in awhile and I've missed it.  My goal had been to write once a week for fun, or at least every two weeks...Life happens and I'm giving myself grace, but I have several posts that I've started in my head. Let'ssee...where to begin?

How about a little post of God's goodness that I've seen this summer?  Because, boy have I seen God working!  In fact a couple of the posts in my head are more specific and detailed and NEED to be written, but I'm trying to give myself grace and ease back in ;)  So, where have I seen God's goodness this summer?

*morning coffee on the porch

*slower paced days

*seeing Kiara (my daughter) grow and change (full blog post coming)

*seeing my son, Brock, and future daughter in law, Ashlyn plan their wedding and become doggy parents

*seeing my middle son, Grant working his butt off this summer

*going to the gym, sometimes as a whole family...sometimes just one or two of us

*my grand-puppy, Maddie! She is so much fun and then I can send her home!

*loud rock out/singing sessions with Kiara (from worship music to angry girl songs to country)

*time really relaxing in the pool

*time to listen to podcasts

*travel and adventure with my bestie

*worship on the porch not caring who can hear me (sorry neighbors)

*my non-cuddly cat that has started to love on me and snuggle (and the fact that I enjoy that is truly a God-thing!)

*breakfasts out with a friend to catch up

*snapchats and tik-toks shared from sweet co-workers 

*intense prayer times over a couple situations (full blog coming)

*a new to me netflix show that just makes me laugh...I love to laugh!

*hearing the birds sing every day and being outside so much

*peace and relaxation on my porch or on my back deck

*morning walks while Kiara walks sheep

*a new workout program that I want to hate but I secretly love it (not so secret anymore)

*seeing God work literal miracles in ways that I couldn't have imagined (full blog coming)

*time in the barn with my girl who is coming into her own with her love of agriculture

*starting/completing a summer program at school to check-in over the summer

*being nominated for a state award in school counseling

*morning coffee on the porch doing devotions (yes I know this was previously mentioned but I've seen and felt His goodness so much in these mornings)

*finding a mother of the groom dress that I LOVE for a steal of a deal

*meeting and enjoying time with our son's future in-laws

*my daughter's instagram messages that are sometimes silly and sometimes heartfelt

*snapping beans as a family on the porch (even the grandpuppy)

*time with my parents daily at the farm...so thankful for both of them

*time with Phil's parents who visited for the fair...so glad they were able to see K show

*excitement over a new apartment for Ashlyn (& Brock after the wedding)

There are so many more that I could probably mention.  It's been a good summer. I've worked more than I had anticipated, but I have seen God PROFOUNDLY during those times. I've also been able to take the time to truly relax and enjoy the summer. I feel refreshed and ready for God to use me this year. Where have you seen His goodness? I honestly would love to hear!!!

Be blessed and look for His goodness today. I KNOW that you will see it if you look. 

Lessons from the barn

 

If you know me at all, you know that I grew up in a family that raises sheep. Over the last 40 years (gulp!) I have spent a lot of time with sheep and learned valuable life skills...responsibility, teamwork, work ethic, empathy and compassion,...the list goes on and on and I've enjoyed passing those skills onto my own children. 

I have also learned some spiritual lessons in the barn and have even written about this on other occasions, where God reminds me that we are to be like sheep and follow the Good Shepherd (Jesus). I always love the scriptural references to the sheep and the shepherd because I can relate to them and see that relationship in real life.  

The other day my youngest and I were walking sheep like we do every day when something simple happened. One of the lambs got untied somehow from the cart. I saw the halter drop and as I started to race to grab the halter to tie it back up, I realized something...the sheep was looking at my daughter and just continued to walk and follow her, as if still tethered to her.  The sheep could have bolted and made us chase her around the field. But instead, the sheep was looking straight ahead at his "master" (my daughter) and just kept following her without veering off the course. In the moment, we laughed about how they were so well trained, tied her back to the cart, and then continued our walk.

And as I walked, I realized that when the Bible calls us to be like sheep and follow the Good Shepherd...that is what it means. No matter what is happening around us...and the opportunities, temptations, and sins...we are to keep our eyes fixed on our Shepherd and just keep walking. Because the lambs have a routine, know our voices, and have learned to trust us...they just kept walking and following us.  How often do I feel a little freedom and veer off on my own path of choices? How often do I get out of alignment with God's plan because I think my path might be better? Or shorter? Or easier? If the lamb had raced around the field because it could, we would have chased it, been frustrated,  taken a longer amount of time, and exhausted us and the lamb.  But instead, all was well. He just kept following along, trusting that our plan was the best one.  Often I've said that I want to be like a sheep...I want to trust my Shepherd's voice and leading and follow Him willingly.  But I've failed so many times.  The good news is that even after we let God "chase us all over the field"...He welcomes us back in line and continues to lead us. In fact...he probably laughs a little bit at the silliness of our fleeing...If only I keep my eyes fixed on the Shepherd and listen to his voice...All will be well. 

But you know what else I realized...just like we would have chased that silly lamb all over the field to corral it and bring it back to its purpose...God does the same with each of us.  He will search for us, and then bring us back into His presence. How stinking cool is that? 

Lord, help me to be your sheep...following you, listening to you, trusting in you. And when I stray...Lord, draw me back to you. Amen.

Matthew 18: 12-14

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

Reminding myself of the joy...

 Tonight I'm a bit grouchy. It was hot. I had a migraine for well over 24 hours. I had horrid cramps (sorry guys). Electric went out while I tried to watch church in bed (remember the migraine?) Ants invaded. I just feel blah...and when I was ready to whine a little more, I saw the open tab of my blog page on my computer before signing off. Hmmmm...Yep, thanks God. I needed the reminder. There is SO. MUCH. JOY. and goodness and love.  So I'm pausing the whine...at least for a few minutes before bed to reset myself and gently remind myself to snap out of it! (Smile)

So...here are a few of my joys this weekend and I know there are many more than this. But I decided to take 5 minutes and purposely jot things down as I remember.

*The moment the headache "broke".

*Kiara impressing me with her work today with her sheep, all without help.

*A pure white sheep after being washed...just wanna cuddle!

*My oldest and his fiance coming to visit and introduce us to our new "grand"puppy.

*Puppy wiggles and antics that had us laughing.

*Steaks on the grill (yummo)!!!

*Father's Day--thankful for my own dad, my father-in-law, and for Phil. All great dads!

*Sitting and chatting with my parents on their patio.

*Deer in the fields surrounding us.

*A day of rest.

*My whole family being together.

*Freshly baked banana bread.

*A text from a friend at just the right time.

*Time to sit wtih a dear teacher friend and catch up after a couple weeks off of school.

*Peace (mostly) over a stressful situation.

*Listening to a podcast while lounging on the deck.

There are always joys. Always.  Sometimes I forget to look at them or focus on them, but they are always there. I made myself stop after 5 minutes...the list could've gone on.  So, I ask you...What are you thankful for? Where are your joys tonight?

Looking for Jesus and Joy

 Emotions have been high the last few days for me, so I have been purposefully looking for Jesus and joy in my days. I was planning to wait until the weekend to show the list, but there are so many after just 3 days, that I decided to post now and I can always add. I need the reminder today.

Here are the things I have seen Jesus and joy in so far...

* A female cardinal perching on the door handle and peeking in the window at me.

* The female cardinal flying off to join her male counterpart in the tree.

* Golden Girls Sophia socks

* Bosses who listen

* An administrator  that asks questions to learn more

* A student asking how MY day was going.

* A note from K (my daughter) saying she is praying for me.

* Writing

* Podcast shared by a friend who thought of me

* My friends loving on K, so well

* Tik-toks that hit just right and make me laugh and share

* Wedding plans for my oldest and texts from my future daughter-in-law

* Birthday celebrations!!! (Katie Day! in this case)

* Watching students grow and achieve goals

* A chatty teenager (K again)

* Watching a smile come to the face of an overwhelmed student

* Teenagers being their real selves wtih me

* Visits from K at lunch time

* Silly sayings and inside jokes 

* Imaginary podcasts ("Sometimes it be like that...")  IYKYK

* Singing down the hallway with co-workers

* Proud "mama" moments with students

* Talking in British accents

* Going to the gym with K

* A fresh haircut in my fav stylist's chair

* Jamming to music with K

* Starbucks for no special reason

* Texts that make me giggle

* Sunshine on the deck relaxing

* Cute, comfy dress pants

* Fresh brewed coffee that I made but didn't have a chance to even drink (sigh)

* Open windows with a breeze coming through

* Birds singing

* Sheep "snuggles"

* Crops popping up in the fields

* Turkeys...and my luck in not hitting them this week. (and the screams and laughter it brought)

* Chats with my mama (love her)

* Memes...today was deemed meme day and I used them A LOT!!!

* Co-workers spreading their "sunshine" today  to help with a tough day

* Eyerolls that speak paragraphs

* Last tutoring session of the school year

* Practicing hair-do's on K

* Driving with the windows down

Over the years God has shown me that when I look for him, for things to be thankful for, and for joy...I will find it. Every. Single. Time. And not only will I find it, but I will find it in abundance. There are so many more that wouldn't make sense in a short little phrase to anyone but me. But to say that God showed up so far this week would be an understatement.  Where did you find Jesus and joy this week?

The Giver

 If you know anything about the enneagram, you know that:

"The Enneagram is a system of personality which describes people in terms of nine types, each with their own motivations, fears, and internal dynamics." (https://www.truity.com/enneagram/9-types-enneagram).

It zones in on your personality, hopes, fears, motivations, etc...divided up into 9 basic personality "types". I am an Enneagram 2: The Giver. Whether you like personality assessments or not, I have found this one to be pretty accurate. Two's are known to be givers...nurturers and carers of others, attuned to others, wanting to always be there when people need them, approachable, empathetic, full of encouragement, and a vocal activist for others. Sound familiar? (if you know me)  It totally makes sense why I was drawn first to teaching and then, to school counseling. These times are the times I am most fulfilled and satisfied. There is so much good with twos.

BUT, I struggle with the weaknesses as well.  I hold in my emotions to please others, or to keep them from knowing that I don't have it all together, or because I don't want to burden them. Or honestly, because I'm too exhausted being the give-er that I have nothing left to give for myself.  Sometimes the tables turn and I want a Two to find me and reflect those giving qualities back to me.That leads me to this funk I can fall into.  The funk where I feel all of the feelings. All at once.  I'm a BIG feeler anyway. And when those times come. Oh goodness...I need a hot minute because I'm ready to explode with the feelings. It can get ugly. I may withdraw into myself. I may take a nap to avoid the feelings. It's so hard to sit in my own feelings, whether good or bad or indifferent really. I don't take the time until I HAVE to take the time because the emotions bubble over. Sometimes the feelings fall down my face. Sometimes I feel like my feelings suck me down like quicksand and I have to grasp and fight to come back out. But those emotions can be overwhelming. Overpowering. Unable to keep ignoring. 

This can be so positive as I have empathy, compassion, joy, love, and laughter and I share it with others. 

Sometimes the laughter and joy are so intense and contagious. But sometimes when others hurt, I hurt intensely too. That is why I come home exhausted many days. Wiped out. Sitting and staring. Tense, worried, sad...I take on those emotions. 

I want to do more. 

Protect more. 

Fix more. 

Help more. 

Love more.

I'm a TWO. I take care of others. I care deeply for others. And when it's time for my own emotions (good or bad)...I say "Ain't got time for that". I know in my head (and training) that I have to take care of me too. It's something I'm working on. Sometimes I'm successful and sometimes...well, sometimes I put on a happy face. Say that I'm good. And just keep plugging along.  Balance. Finding the time. Taking care of me. Learning one day at a time. Trying to practice what I preach to my students. 

I honestly don't know why I felt the need to write about this, other than I'm trying to process it myself. To learn, grow, stretch, and find the balance. To identify the imbalance. And to open myself to receive, not just give.