7 Years Journey

I meant to post this a couple of weeks ago in the midst of all of my "feelings"...but life has been crazy for the last couple of weeks without a minute to spare, so it hasn't happened.  Tuesday, November 9 marked the 7 year anniversary of my neck pain beginning.  I had a very emotional day that day.  Seven years...SEVEN years. Really?  I thought I would be healed long ago. Counted on being healed LONG ago.  But God has not answered my prayers in my timing. I know HIS timing is perfect...but again, I must say...SEVEN years??? The day is vivid in my mind, a normal-getting ready for school kind of day.  As I was fixing my lunch to take, I reached across the counter to pick up my lunchbag and..SNAP, something snapped and I was in excruciating pain and unable to move.  I remember sobbing on my drive to school, and getting there to have my principal take one look at me and send me packing.  I remember getting a chiropractor appointment on emergency need basis...trying physical therapy, drug after drug, doctor after doctor...a trip to Mayo clinic...more doctors...and now finally with my chiropractor, family doc, and shoulder doctor conspiring, I have gone to a great doctor that has given me some hope (at moments)  I had much progress throughout the summer with the new treatments that I was having (prolotherapy)...and then my shoulder issue snuck up on me again.  ARGH.  So, finally, had the shoulder surgery and in my mind...all should be "fixed" right?  Not so much.  Because of the pain from surgery and sling that I wear, it has actually created some worse pain again in the neck area.  I wake up each morning in terrible neck pain and shoulder pain now.  I keep reaching forward to..."when I get finished with therapy for my shoulder" AND..."when I can quit wearing the sling"...AND..."when I can do some exercises for my neck again and go back to my prolotherapy doctor". BUT, I must admit that there have been times (or days in a row) that I have literally looked up and said "ENOUGH!!!" to God.  I'm tired of it.  7 YEARS!  7 YEARS!  I get mad and angry and then I go through a spout of getting into God's word and being encouraged and focusing on Him...but it always ends up coming back to me and what I want.  That is hard.  The other day on the radio I heard a scripture that I believe I was supposed to hear.  It was:  1 Peter 5:10-11  "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen"  This got me to thinking about His timing and the fact that what are years and long periods of times to us, are mere blinks of an eye for Him...So in His eyes, my suffering has only been a brief snippet...AND, it says he will restore me, not might, but WILL restore me.  I am clinging to that today.  I want to be able to be normal and do normal things without worrying about how it will affect my neck.  My journey has been long, at least to me...but I'm trying to cling to the promise that He will restore me and make be strong and firm.   Trying...sometimes not so successfully.

Halloween Sweets

Here are our Halloween "Sweets"...although I'm not sure if the two Star Wars guys are supposed to be sweet...but they are my sweeties!  The lady bug balances it all out I guess.  We had a full day on Halloween with two back-to-back football games (it was windy and freezing) and then home for a quick nap for Kiara and I before getting ready and heading out for trick-or-treat. We just walk around to a few houses in our neighborhood before heading to Phil's boss' house and then my parents.  In just those few houses, these kiddos racked up a LOT of candy it seems. Whew!

Here we go....

Here's my first Star Wars man...Grant

Darth Vader...or Brock...quite a time with this outfit as the original costume I got was WAAAAYY too small and while I lay in bed after shoulder surgery, Phil ran around trying to find things to make this costume work.  He did great!

And of course, our little lady bug--Kiara.  She LOVED this outfit and especially the shoes which she frequently wears to play in at home now.

Trick-or-Treat Grandma!!!!

We had a good time.  It was an exhausting day for me because of my shoulder and all of the activities we had, but even more so for Phil...He is an amazing guy!

Surgery

Surgery is finally over.  It was a long wait (7 weeks from when I found out I needed surgery).  It was set up for my fall break and we weren't sure what we were going to find when the Doc got in there.  It ended up that there was NO tear in the rotator cuff (Thank you Jesus)!  I had several issues that needed fixing though.  I had a lot of scar tissue built up from my fall last year at school and a spider web of threads coming off of my labrum with a lot of redness, along with a large bone spur that was the culprit of much of my pain we think.  So, this is me in my sling...a bit inhibiting, but I'm so thankful for it.  You would be amazed at how much we move our arms/shoulder out of instinct and this keeps me from making too many "mistakes" of movement.  I'm sore and very tired, but God is carrying me through this as well.  He is so good.

Here's a close up of just the arm portion of the sling.  I wear it all of the time, even to sleep.  After seeing the doctor this morning, I am released to take it off at times when at home to encourage more movement, but will need to keep it on in public and especially at school to keep it from getting injured.  Physical therapy begins soon and I'm on the road to recovery.

Here are the flowers I received from the staff at school...the picture doesn't do it full justice of all of the orange in the arrangement...but they do know me well by making it orange! HA!

Before the surgery I began to feel much fear and apprehension.  I called on friends to give me their favorite scripture about fear and casting it out and then asked some people to pray specifically in that direction.  I just want to tell you that the night before and day of the surgery, I was as calm as a cucumber.  I had NO fear at all.  Just a peace that truly passed all of my understanding.  God was present with me and I was very calm...even in the midst of a tornado warning at the hospital and a post-ponement of the surgery because of it...All for a reason that I don't know...but the key is that there was no fear.  It was taken away. Thanks for your prayers and scriptures for those who gave them.  He is good!

Below is a picture of me icing that shoulder at school...good times!