Forgetting...

I originally started this post in November...and I keep putting it off and putting it off...I just wanted to have everything "perfect" when I posted it.  But I decided tonight that although I am exhausted and really need to be in bed, I NEED to write this post.  Bear with me...the ending is worth the read!  So, the reason the post started in November was that on November 9 it was 8 years to the day that I had been suffering from my neck pain.  In August/October I was told that my pain would be with me for the rest of my days and I was coming to terms with what that would mean for me emotionally and physically...living with pain for years and years more.  As I have thought about this post, I have gone back and read through an assortment of my blogs over the years of this pain journey and I cried, smiled, laughed and wondered at what all God has led me through and know that indeed He has never left me.  One thing that stuck out to me in former posts was what I was forgetting...In those 8 years, I had forgotten:
...what normal "me" was like...what it was like to NOT have pain...what a good night's sleep felt like...what it was like to NOT start my day with Tylenol and continue it all day long...what it was like to always be real with people instead of pretending to be good...what it was like to do ANYTHING without thinking of my neck and how it would affect the pain....
Then on October 15 I began drinking a nutrient rich drink called zija smart-mix...I had heard about it through a high school friend and went to an informational meeting about it...the testimonials of the relief and healing it was bringing to people made me think that it was worth a try.  If it didn't make the pain better, it would certainly make me healthier, right?  After about a week of daily drinks, I could feel my energy level shooting through the roof.  After a few weeks of it, I realized the pain was lessening in it's intensity.  Was it all in my head?  I was sure that it was to be honest.  I didn't tell my hubby how it was working for 6 weeks or so.  The funny thing was that I went 4 days in a row that I would get in the car to drive to school and think "Oh shoot, I forgot to take my Tylenol"...by that 4th day I cried when I realized it...I hadn't gone 4 days without Tylenol in over 8 years...of all the things that I forgot in those 8 years (listed above), forgetting Tylenol NEVER made the list.  I have been taking the drink for 4 months now and how do I feel by now?   INCREDIBLE!  I am not 100% pain free, but I feel simply amazing compared to the 8 years before.  At a time when I had given up hope and was trusting God for daily strength, He provided a facebook message from a high school friend that would bring me healing.  AMAZING!  Someone asked me one day if I wished that I had found zija 8 years ago...my answer may be surprising...NO, I don't.  What??????  I really don't.  The journey that God brought me on has been amazing...hard to handle and devastating at times, but those times were the times that I leaned on God and drew from His strength and gained so much more.  I think of where I was 8 years ago with the Lord??  Praise God that He brought me through that mess so that I can more fully know Him and give Him honor and glory that He so deserves!  I have enjoyed the last few months of experimenting who the real "me" is again.  My family has their wife/mom/daughter back...I rough-house with the kids, gave my daughter a horsey ride to bed tonight, paint ceilings and walls, sand drywall, rearrange furniture...and worship with a fervor that overwhelms me.  God is so incredibly good and I feel so blessed tonight as I write this.  One of the songs that I have been singing/shouting out randomly is "Praise God! Praise God! Praise God who saved my soul!  Praise God! Praise God!  Praise God from whom all blessings flow!"  The blessings have been flowing for the last 8 years and I can't wait to see what He will do with me now that I feel so awesome..the blessings continue to flow!  Blessed be His name!!!!!!!

Cookie Fun

Back to catching up...this year, the kids had a different Christmas Break than I did, which was a bummer.  They were off for an entire week while I was in school. Then we had a week off together, before they went back to school and I had a week off without them.   I was feeling a bit gloomy about this, but I had my concert during this first week that the kids had off...while chatting at school with another teacher, I decided I was going to take a personal day the day after my Christmas concert...I was hesitant to do this since I don't have a lot of days and being the last few days before break, but she reminded me that my priorities needed to be 1. God 2. Family 3. Job  So I went for it.  I didn't tell the kids ahead of time, so when they got up, they assumed I had a delay.  But when the jammies stayed on, they started asking questions!  Kiara and I made a quick run to the grocery store to buy some supplies and then we started in on a Christmas cookie baking day and a day to just be a MOM and focus on my kiddos!

First batch of cookies we made were Aunt Jul's famous Reese's peanut butter cup muffin tin cookies. Yummo!  We LOVE them at our house.  Of course a favorite part of making cookies is licking the beaters and stealing some tastes of the cookie dough.  Kiara looks as if she could put the whole beater in her mouth! While those set up, we made another favorite...puppy chow!  The boys had never helped me before and were surprised at how it was made and now wonder why I don't make it more because it is so easy! :)  They had fun shaking the bag of powder to mix it up.  Next up, sugar cookie cut-outs...Poor Grant was covered in flour from head to toe.  (along with the floor and everything surrounding the bowl!

Brock is a perfectionist and got frustrated a bit when the cookies would break apart or stretch...but he would start it over and get it right before putting them on the cookie sheet.

Oh and Kiara...she helped cut some off too and got VERY into it as you can tell by the pictures. Cracked me up!

What, Mom?  What's wrong with my face?

After an afternoon of playing games and cleaning up the huge mess, it was time to do the icing on the cookies.  I only made red and green frosting so their deer look a little sickly!

I figured they would tire of it easily, but they were so patient working on them.  I sat at the table chatting with them and just watching while they did all the work...

Cute Christmas tree that they worked on!

We had an awesome day.  A day I would describe as nearly perfect!  It was just a fun mom/kids day and we don't do that nearly often enough.  There is always cleaning or laundry to be done and rarely do we let everything go and just enjoy each other for a whole day.  There wasn't bickering or fighting...just fun.  It was a little hard to go back to work for the last two days before break after such a great day!

Sooooo glad that I took a personal day...even if it means that later on I have none left.  It was well worth it and depending on next year's breaks...it may happen again!