Birthday Girl

Can our little bug REALLY be 2 already?  It just doesn't seem possible. Her birthday was Memorial Day this year so we able to all be together as a family the whole day which was really nice.  We decided to veer from our traditional birthday supper since we were all off work.  So, we headed off to Bob Evans for a breakfast/brunch as a family and with Grandma and Grandpa.  We all came away STUFFED!  After breakfast, we came back to the house to open presents.  Once that was done, it was late enough that we could eat cake and ice cream! Yum!  The pictures below got a little out of order in my uploading and my experience has been that when I try to move things around, I end up messing it up or deleting it, so I'm just going to keep them out of order! HA!

Kiara ready for breakfast and with big brother Grant in her new turtle sandbox playing hide and seek!

New tricylcle from Grandma and Granpa was a big hit, although learning to actually ride it could take some time!

Look how cute I am at 2!!!!!  Blowing out the candle with help from Brock so that I don't just dig my hands and face into it!

Sweet pictures with Grandma and Grandpa

To appreciate this picture of Kiara drinking orange juice, you have to understand that she usually only will drink milk and wants nothing to do with anything else...but this cool bendy straw convinced her that she really wanted orange juice!

Can't believe my little "baby" is 2 already.  Time flies and we are enjoying watching all of our kids grow up. Oh, and by the way....yes, she is officially entering the terrible twos!!!!!!!!! Definitely!  But we love her anyway.

Miss Ornery

Wanted to share these pictures of my ornery, silly little girl.  I'm telling you she is a piece of work and keeps us desparately on our toes.  Yes...she is wearing Grant's underwear...over her diaper AND over her head...What a goofball!  And this is her favorite activity to do when Mommy and Daddy are distracted with something else...tearing out EVERYTHING from the kitchen cabinets.  Yes, she is ORNERY!!!!!!

I have so much to update on my thoughts and how the Lord is working in me right now...as in my pain issues...but it's all jumbled up in my head and althought I feel like writing, I just can't get it all out like I want...so I'll save it for another day...Just know that there is progress with my neck and as always, God is still in control (smiles). 

Mother's Day and more...

Have I mentioned lately how blessed I am? If not, well I should have. God has blessed me truly beyond measure with my kids...if you know me well enough you know that each child challenges me in a different way and there are always times a mom needs an escape...but I wouldn't trade any of these moments with my three kiddos. They are all three soooo unique and have their own personalities and things that make them special. Brock is my outgoing, outspoken, hard-working and energetic one...Grant is my shy, cuddly, go with the flow (and also hard-working) one...and Kiara, well, she is my stinker, friendly, entertaining one. There really is never a dull moment in our house and I love it. I really do. Even when I just want to escape for 5 minutes for a little quiet...I still love it. For Mother's Day, they told me we could do whatever I wanted...hmmmm...we went out for fast food because I didn't want to wait at a nicer place and then I took a nap. Ahhhh...naps are bliss aren't they? :) When we got home from church the kids gave me some big candy bars and the most adorable frame. I would carry this frame around with me at all times if that was feasible, because I LOVE looking at these three sweet faces. I took a picture...trust me that the "live" version is much better.

Below is a puzzle that Grant colored for me and gave to me.  He was so proud of it and so sweet to give it to me.

Later in the day, after both of our naps (hence the hair-do) Kiara found my chocolate/caramel bar in my room.  She unwrapped it as she walked down the hall and came into the room with Phil and I looking VERY proud of herself for getting her "choc-a"...she is her mommy's girl!

Oh, how I love my kids...and that husband of mine????  Well, I love him to pieces too...he just doesn't like his picture taken! :)

My song...

My theme song for the last few months has been a song by JJ Heller entitled "Your Hands"...it is song 4 on my playlist to the right...if you click on it you can hear it.  I've blogged about this song before.  The first time I heard it my mouth dropped open and I cried and cried out to Jesus that this song was for me.   It felt like it was literally written for me for this time in my life.  In fact, crazily enough when I call it my song, it seems I am almost saying that it is for me and I don't think of it being for anyone else...Fast forward a bit. I won tickets two weeks ago to go to a JJ Heller concert.  I felt this again was such a God thing so that I could go hear "my song"...So, I invited some friends to go with me and we went.  When we got to that song in the concert, she shared why she wrote it (for herself) and talked about how it had affected others and the dj even talked about how many of us could remember where we were the first time we heard it and ours mouths dropping open at how applicable it was for each of us...Wait, what? You mean others think it is "their song"????  HA!  It hit me that yes, it is still MY song and I do believe that God inspired her to write it and I believe He inspired me to hear it when He did at the exact perfect moment in time that I needed it, but now I realize...it's not about ME...it's about HIM. Duh.  I realize that seems very obvious but it's like I needed the concert and seeing her live to get that we are all affected with our own "issues" and we all need to rest in HIS hands in order to have peace in it.  I'm so grateful to her and her music...if you listen to more of her stuff...she is so powerful in her lyrics..the music seems so simplistic, yet it stuns you with the profoundness found in that simplicity.  She is my new favorite artist right now.  Here are some pictures of her and her husband Dave performing the show and one of us girls who enjoyed some time together.

I had to put the one of her singing "Back Home" in it...I can't listen to the song without seeing us all doing the silly movements with it.  The girls know what I'm talking about! :)

8 Years Old...Already?

Yep...really, already, Grant turned 8 this week.  I simply can't believe it.  My whole life those who were "older" have told me that the older you get the faster time goes...wow, they weren't kidding!  Every year seems to go faster and yet it seems to me that it was just moments ago that I held a 6 pound 6 oz little boy in my arms and cried at how beautiful he was...nope, 8 years ago already!  So, we made our regular birthday trek to Pizza Hut and then did presents, cake/ice cream at our house with Grandma and Grandpa in tow.  This little guy is the guy who used to cry so hard that he would throw up when we left him anywhere other than with us or Grandma...who wouldn't speak at pre-school...now...well, he wanted to be sure that Pizza Hut knew it was his birthday and made sure everyone at school knew too.  I love him.  He is so different from my other two and I just love him to pieces.  It won't be long and he'll be graduating...I know that, but I seem to love every age that he is at...watching him grow, explore and become our little man.  I love you Grant.  Happy Birthday little man!

Day 1 of his life :)  So little.

Birthday cake! He wanted 8 candles, plus a new "8" candle...plus the "8" candle from Brock's b-day!

Hope-FULL news

Many of you who read this already know the reports from my newest doctor this week...I have a shoulder injury in addition to the neck issue that continues. I am now seeking treatment for the shoulder injury and will be visiting yet another specialist for my neck problems...But I want to share the deeper parts of how God orchestrated these last couple of events. As I talk about a variety of doctors I will try to make it clear who said what.  The spine specialist had me get an MRI of the shoulder and sent me to get trigger point injections in my neck.  From the MRI of the shoulder, spine doctor sent me to an orthopedic doctor....BUT, when they called to tell me they were referring me to the ortho doc, they told me I could choose who I wanted.  I found out who was covered under my plan and then decided on a doctor that was recommended to me by a recently re-newed friend who works in the surgery dept of a hospital.  When I called to tell the spine doctor who I wanted, I was treating rudely and told that they didn't "want to refer me to someone other than their usual doctors".  After adamantly insisting that she told me I could choose who I wanted, she told me she would see what the doc said. I questioned my choice in this doctor and worried about it all day and evening.  I was telling Phil about it when I got home and we were trying to decide if we should switch to who they wanted me to see.  As we were discussing this, I started to glance through our local paper...in the middle of our discussion I scanned an article about someone who severed tendons in his foot and should have lost his foot...but a great orthopedic doctor was called in and he saved the foot and the guy was now running mini-marathons 8 months later....guess who the doctor was?  Yep, the one I had CHOSEN.  If that wasn't a big enough sign from God, then there was a big ad on the back page of the paper for this SAME doctor.  Thank you Jesus for making it clear.  So, I had to call back and was again treated rudely by the spine specialists office, but told her I wanted the appointment made sooner rather than later and that I would continue to call until it was made. (Why do we have to force service???)  So, I visited this doctor this week...Can I just say that this was truly who God wanted me to see.  Did he solve my problems, no, but Wow...I was amazed with him.  I LOVED him.  He cared. He got it. He wanted me to be fixed.  He was sorry that my shoulder/neck injuries were separate and that he couldn't fix it all. He listened to me...really listened and I sat there thinking...This is the first specialist in 6 years to get it.  He gets that I'm too young for all of this pain that I have.  He gave me HOPE for a future without pain.  As a Christian, I know that I have HOPE in the Lord always, but he gave me hope for my physical pain simply by caring.  So, he (ortho doc) is sending me on to a pain specialist. He claims that this guy does NOT like not finding the cause of pain and fixing it.  He is determined, stubborn and won't give up...a bit like me?  So, will this guy have the answer?  I honestly don't know...but for right now...I have hope...God was in this...in what doctor I would see and the treatment I am seeking in my shoulder...in the support of those around me.  Hope...it feels good.

What if?

FEAR...that has been a word that has been on my mind lately.  Not the hide under-the-covers from the dark kind of fear...or maybe it is in a way.  My fear has been catapulted by the what-ifs in my life right now.  Today I had lots of what-if kind of thoughts racing in my mind and I realized that they have been lurking for awhile now.  Some of the what-ifs have answers already but they still are with me...some don't have answers but will...some I may never know.  Here are a few of my what-ifs...lately they are almost ALL about my neck pain and the questions of healing.
What if....
...the physical therapy doesn't work for me?  (it didn't by the way)
...the MRI and xrays show nothing wrong with me?
...no one can figure it out?
...I continue to get worse as the last few weeks have?
...my children only remember me as being in pain and unable to be normal?
...my husband/family resent my inability to be normal?
...I gain all of my weight back because I can't exercise like I want?
...I always have pain...for the rest of my life?
...the spine specialist just thinks that I am crazy?
...I become unable to do my job?
...everyone gives up on me?
...it comes time to give up on healing?
...I seriously have to live with this until heaven?
...the episodes at school get worse and I can't hide it from the students?
...The list goes on and on and on...

But what I do know (notice I know and not just wonder like all of the above statements) is that God is working IN me and THROUGH me during this whole process.  Once I let go a little and asked God what He wanted me to learn through this, He began teaching me and helping me to realize that I am a normal Christian going through a trial.  It's okay to have struggles and wonder why it's all happening.  Time after time in the Bible I have been reading of such times that great men of God reacted much like I have.  And in those stories that I am reading, I am finding how God wants me to react and what He wants me to learn about relying on Him, trusting in Him and KNOWING that HE is in control at all times.  There will always be what-ifs in our lives...I have no doubt of that, but in this time of waiting to find out the answers, I am slowly learning to rely on His strength for each day.  Satan would love for me to believe the many lies he has pointed in my directins, but I will remain in the TRUTH (Bible) so that the lies are meaningless. So..what if, every time I had a what-if moment, I searched my mind for scripture to calm me?  Hmmm...that's a whole different round of what-ifs isn't it?