Hope in the Long-Stretches

                                       

Back to the doctor I went this week.  Before I went, I had some friends praying for me...I was afraid of what I was going to hear, and although in my heart I know that He will sustain me, my brain wasn't resting in that. I have stayed relatively numb since my last visit to the shot doc.  I've had some down days but mostly just been floating along unfeeling.  So, Wednesday I rushed out of school to get to my appointment with the main doc, Dr. K (the dentist).  The assistant took me through some of my initial testings and measurements and was super chatty, which didn't allow me to think too much.  Her opinion was that things looked great as far as my jaw was concerned.  I have maintained where I am supposed to be and have not regressed at all since getting rid of the day mouth appliance.  That was good news!

So, after a bit of a wait, Dr. K came in to meet with me.  He was very pleased with my jaw progress, but concerned with my increase of pain in my neck area and that I have seemingly gone backwards in my improvement levels there.  After he ran me through all of the physical testing, he sat me down to talk to me a bit.  He hasn't given up hope yet, which is a good thing as I wasn't excited about hearing a "This is the end of the road for you" speech.  Basically we talked about how physically they have repaired as much as they can as far as the jaw, nose, cranial-facial areas for me.  Typically this takes care of the problem. Since it hasn't, his thoughts are that my deviated septum had been around long enough to cause my jaw to form incorrectly.  We can't fix that (short of breaking my jaws and starting all over with the healing formation).  Recently he has talked to some other doctors about what to do in cases like mine where the nasal surgery and jaw work hasn't fixed the problem. They have found some success with nasal spray.  (Bare with me here).  He says that even though the nose is "fixed", the flow of air still isn't able to flow normally because of the way my jaw has formed.  The idea with the spray is that when used often (5-6 times a day), it opens up the nasal cavities and helps me to breathe properly.  In turn, my posture changes because of the different air flow, which in turn helps pain levels throughout my body.  I'm not entirely sure I am on board with this treatment.  Although it makes sense on some levels to me with all that I have learned about the anatomy of my body and how things are connected...I think it's a long-stretch.  However,  that's where I'm at.  I'll do the nasal spray for 3 months, 5-6 times a day, stick to the gluten free, sugar free, dairy free diet, drink 64-72 ounces of water a day and pray for healing in the long-stretch.
So...I, being a planner, ask him what's next if this doesn't help.  He smiled and teasingly called me a pessimist and then admitted he knew me well after a year and knows that I am a planner and need to know what's next in the scheme to prepare myself emotionally. If this doesn't work or help, the next step is to get the shot doc, Dr. K and myself an appointment to meet all together so that we can talk, brainstorm and see if we are leaving anything un-turned.  Which essentially, is the end of the road for this portion of my journey and puts me back at ground zero, as I like to call it.  A place without a medical plan or idea of what to do for me.  Ground zero is a scary place for me and a place I dread...but I've been there many times.  Right now I'm not going to focus on that...gonna try hard to focus on the hope in my long-stretch and try not to put the cart in front of the horse so to speak.
As I drove home, I was thankful to not be a crying, sobbing mess.  There is a glimmer of hope...hope in the long-stretches.  After 11 1/2 years, that's what is left. Long-stretches.  The awesome thing that I know is that God is hope...and He is MY hope...the the long-stretches and in the ground zero. When my body fails and my healing fails...God never does.  So I'm focusing on the hope in the long-stretches and the God who is all powerful through all circumstances.