Where's that peace???

A few months back, I had found a peace...I was completely okay with where God had me and where I thought he was taking me...what happened to that?  I thought I had truly come to a place that I was "ok" with living with pain the rest of my days.  Shortly after that peace filled me, the doctor found that he had made a mistake in the "cocktail" of injections he gave me the previous 2 times.  In order to correct this mistake, he wanted to try 2 new sets of injections (around 30+ shots each set) with the right "cocktail" this time. So, even though I thought I was at peace with the pain, hope began to surge inside of me that I could/would be healed.  In fact, I just assumed that I would be.  I thought that me finally coming to peace with God's plan no matter what, was in fact what God had desired and that now I would be healed after nearly 8 loooooong years of pain.  With the first set of shots, I had minimal relief...not less pain, but the area of pain had shrunk slightly...hope surged again.  On to round 2 of the shots....with NO results at all.  Back to the doctor I went...knowing the shots didn't work yet still clinging to the hope that he would find something that had gotten better and that it would still work. Funny thing was that in the middle of that block of time when I was waiting to work I had a 5 day bout of feeling terrific!  I had little to no pain and lived normally for those 5 days...unfortunately, it was because I was on steroid antibiotics and had a steroid injection for a bad bout of poison ivy.  Oh how I wish I could be on steroids all of the time.  But...  Reality set in at the doctor visit in mid August.  The shots didn't work and we are at the end of that road.  Yet another doctor honestly doesn't know what is wrong with me or how to help me.  We are back to the pain management stage...working to find a way to make my pain more tolerable for the remainder of my life...which could be 60+ more years if my grandma is any indication of my life span.  The doctor put me on Celebrex, which is a med used most often in rheumatoid arthritis.  The hope is that it will lessen the pain on a daily basis for me.  He also referred me to a rheumatologist (go in October) for yet another opinion (which is one more doctor to have to tell the whole story to...ugh).    The Celebrex does not seem to be working and I have had some pretty rough days with the pain. That peace I felt and spoke of a few months ago is gone.  I KNOW that I need to trust in the Lord and know that I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways...but my heart aches to be healed and to be normal.  I really don't remember what it is like to wake in the morning without pain and usually a headache along with it.  I don't remember what it is like to be a mom or teacher or wife without considering my neck and how it is feeling at any given moment.  A couple of weeks ago I sang/played a song at church and gave a brief testimony about living with my pain...suddenly 8 years didn't seem that long and the thought of 60+ years slammed me hard.  I'm tired of it. I'm weary. I'm exhausted. I'm somewhat angry. I'm simply sick of it.  The song that I sang has carried me for the last couple of years and continues to...
"I have asked a thousand ways, for you to take my pain away...
But when my world is shaking, heaven stands....
When my heart is aching, I never leave YOUR hands."  (Your Hands by JJ Heller)

I'm trying to cling to that promise and many others He gives us through scripture...but tonight I am overwhelmed, exhausted, weary, tired, lonely, sad and really blah.  So, if anyone is hiding that peace from me...feel free to drop it by my house.  Would love to have it back ;)