7 Years Journey

I meant to post this a couple of weeks ago in the midst of all of my "feelings"...but life has been crazy for the last couple of weeks without a minute to spare, so it hasn't happened.  Tuesday, November 9 marked the 7 year anniversary of my neck pain beginning.  I had a very emotional day that day.  Seven years...SEVEN years. Really?  I thought I would be healed long ago. Counted on being healed LONG ago.  But God has not answered my prayers in my timing. I know HIS timing is perfect...but again, I must say...SEVEN years??? The day is vivid in my mind, a normal-getting ready for school kind of day.  As I was fixing my lunch to take, I reached across the counter to pick up my lunchbag and..SNAP, something snapped and I was in excruciating pain and unable to move.  I remember sobbing on my drive to school, and getting there to have my principal take one look at me and send me packing.  I remember getting a chiropractor appointment on emergency need basis...trying physical therapy, drug after drug, doctor after doctor...a trip to Mayo clinic...more doctors...and now finally with my chiropractor, family doc, and shoulder doctor conspiring, I have gone to a great doctor that has given me some hope (at moments)  I had much progress throughout the summer with the new treatments that I was having (prolotherapy)...and then my shoulder issue snuck up on me again.  ARGH.  So, finally, had the shoulder surgery and in my mind...all should be "fixed" right?  Not so much.  Because of the pain from surgery and sling that I wear, it has actually created some worse pain again in the neck area.  I wake up each morning in terrible neck pain and shoulder pain now.  I keep reaching forward to..."when I get finished with therapy for my shoulder" AND..."when I can quit wearing the sling"...AND..."when I can do some exercises for my neck again and go back to my prolotherapy doctor". BUT, I must admit that there have been times (or days in a row) that I have literally looked up and said "ENOUGH!!!" to God.  I'm tired of it.  7 YEARS!  7 YEARS!  I get mad and angry and then I go through a spout of getting into God's word and being encouraged and focusing on Him...but it always ends up coming back to me and what I want.  That is hard.  The other day on the radio I heard a scripture that I believe I was supposed to hear.  It was:  1 Peter 5:10-11  "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen"  This got me to thinking about His timing and the fact that what are years and long periods of times to us, are mere blinks of an eye for Him...So in His eyes, my suffering has only been a brief snippet...AND, it says he will restore me, not might, but WILL restore me.  I am clinging to that today.  I want to be able to be normal and do normal things without worrying about how it will affect my neck.  My journey has been long, at least to me...but I'm trying to cling to the promise that He will restore me and make be strong and firm.   Trying...sometimes not so successfully.