Where's that peace???

A few months back, I had found a peace...I was completely okay with where God had me and where I thought he was taking me...what happened to that?  I thought I had truly come to a place that I was "ok" with living with pain the rest of my days.  Shortly after that peace filled me, the doctor found that he had made a mistake in the "cocktail" of injections he gave me the previous 2 times.  In order to correct this mistake, he wanted to try 2 new sets of injections (around 30+ shots each set) with the right "cocktail" this time. So, even though I thought I was at peace with the pain, hope began to surge inside of me that I could/would be healed.  In fact, I just assumed that I would be.  I thought that me finally coming to peace with God's plan no matter what, was in fact what God had desired and that now I would be healed after nearly 8 loooooong years of pain.  With the first set of shots, I had minimal relief...not less pain, but the area of pain had shrunk slightly...hope surged again.  On to round 2 of the shots....with NO results at all.  Back to the doctor I went...knowing the shots didn't work yet still clinging to the hope that he would find something that had gotten better and that it would still work. Funny thing was that in the middle of that block of time when I was waiting to work I had a 5 day bout of feeling terrific!  I had little to no pain and lived normally for those 5 days...unfortunately, it was because I was on steroid antibiotics and had a steroid injection for a bad bout of poison ivy.  Oh how I wish I could be on steroids all of the time.  But...  Reality set in at the doctor visit in mid August.  The shots didn't work and we are at the end of that road.  Yet another doctor honestly doesn't know what is wrong with me or how to help me.  We are back to the pain management stage...working to find a way to make my pain more tolerable for the remainder of my life...which could be 60+ more years if my grandma is any indication of my life span.  The doctor put me on Celebrex, which is a med used most often in rheumatoid arthritis.  The hope is that it will lessen the pain on a daily basis for me.  He also referred me to a rheumatologist (go in October) for yet another opinion (which is one more doctor to have to tell the whole story to...ugh).    The Celebrex does not seem to be working and I have had some pretty rough days with the pain. That peace I felt and spoke of a few months ago is gone.  I KNOW that I need to trust in the Lord and know that I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways...but my heart aches to be healed and to be normal.  I really don't remember what it is like to wake in the morning without pain and usually a headache along with it.  I don't remember what it is like to be a mom or teacher or wife without considering my neck and how it is feeling at any given moment.  A couple of weeks ago I sang/played a song at church and gave a brief testimony about living with my pain...suddenly 8 years didn't seem that long and the thought of 60+ years slammed me hard.  I'm tired of it. I'm weary. I'm exhausted. I'm somewhat angry. I'm simply sick of it.  The song that I sang has carried me for the last couple of years and continues to...
"I have asked a thousand ways, for you to take my pain away...
But when my world is shaking, heaven stands....
When my heart is aching, I never leave YOUR hands."  (Your Hands by JJ Heller)

I'm trying to cling to that promise and many others He gives us through scripture...but tonight I am overwhelmed, exhausted, weary, tired, lonely, sad and really blah.  So, if anyone is hiding that peace from me...feel free to drop it by my house.  Would love to have it back ;)

Birthday Boy!

Another year has passed already????  I simply can't believe it.  They say that as you grow older, time moves faster and it is flying by it seems.  How am I old enough to have a 12 year old????  But I do!  His birthday was on a Sunday...so we celebrated 2 days!  Saturday we went out to eat and had cake and ice cream as a family.  Then on Sunday after church we had a nice lunch and then finally let him open presents in the afternoon!  He had his church youth group in the evening, which is why we ate out a day early!  Here he is with his cake...Ummmm....when did I get old enough that my "child" lights his own candles?

This picture blows my mind!  Seriously...He is 12????  Where did my little boy go?

As he opened the presents from Grandma and Paw-Paw, he unwrapped this box...he was so exited to be getting a crock pot!  HA!  Luckily when he opened it up, he was more excited about the "real" present!

He has wanted this for a couple of years and Grandma and Paw-Paw came through for him!  A New Holland square baler.  He couldn't wait to get outside with his tractors and play with it.

Turning 12 means that he is allowed to take his Hunter's Education Course and get his hunting license.  He started the course ON his birthday!  He is excited.  Grandma and Grandpa have him ready to go with camo coat, pants and gloves!

A bow and arrow from Dad and Mom was the last part of his gifts!  He was very excited with everything he got...He couldn't quit smiling!

Kiara had to get in on the action...Don't worry.  She won't go hunting.  She can't sit still or be quiet for more than a few seconds at a time!

So, another year has flown by and now we have a 12 year old.  Brock, we are incredibly proud of you.  You are a great kid with sooooo much energy, passion for life and are so hard-working at all you do.  I love how you play with your brother and sister (most of the time) and are growing into quite the young man.  Although you will always be my "sweet little boy"...you are growing up and I am proud of you.  Love you kiddo!

Update on the House

It has been a loooong time since I have posted an udpdate on my parent's house and it's progress...there seemed to be such slow progress that I couldn't make myself post it.  As I was walking through the house today and taking pictures, I see that much progress has been made...there is still a long ways to go in a lot of areas, but these pictures show the progress...I am not good at doing the things I want with pictures, but hopefully you will get the idea.  These two pics are not the exact same angle, but show the progress...from everything being ripped out, framed in, and then insulated.

It seemed to take forever, but the roof finally made it on!  I've never been so excited to see shingles!

The roof FINALLY is all done!  Shingled and beautiful!

Here is the garage...the day after the fire and tonight.  Wow!  Still not fully sided but much improved!

I went in the basement tonight, which has had no work done on it at all...this ceiling fan is covered in mold, as are some of the walls, the furniture, some of the antiques.  It's a mess and is quite smelly.

The kitchen the day after the fire, and tonight.  Makes me tear up seeing it!

These two pics are taken from basically the same angle...drastic improvement, including new windows, roof, siding, and patio door.

I took this one a couple of weeks ago in the dining room when they were mudding the drywall and applying stain to all of the doors, but I can't get it to move earlier in the blog so it is out of order! HA!

It's hard to tell in the picture but some of the ceilings have been treated and paintd.  They look so nice. This is the hallway by the bedrooms.

There is still MUCH to do, but tonight I am not going to think of everything that still needs to be done and how much work is ahead...not only for the construction crew, but for all of us as we tackle the clean up.  Tonight I am going to look at how much has been accomplished and be grateful.

Successful 1st Day of School

Hard to believe, but the 1st day of school has come and gone already!  Today was the day that started the year for a new 3rd grader, 6th grader and soon to be pre-schooler.  I can't believe I'm old enough to have kids in those grades!  Whew!  Woke the boys up this morning and had them get ready right away so we could do some pictures before I had to leave to go to school (my 3rd day).  Here is Grant, all ready to start 3rd grade and very excited about it!

Brock, almost 12 years old and a 6th grader. Wow...hard to believe.

Kiara had to get in on the action too...it wasn't her 1st day of school but the first without her brothers at home with her!

My two handsome boys...brothers and buds!  So proud of these boys.

Mom and kiddos all ready to start the day (although Kiara still has her jammies on). 

Kiara posing for Grandma as they wait on the bus to come to pick up Grant.  Brock leaves earlier on a different bus since he goes to the Intermediate School.  Check out her pose and SHOES!

One last hug goodbye to her buddy Grant.  She will miss them every day....but now she has Grandma all to herself! HA! 

Both boys had terrific first days with no apprehension, nerves or fear!  We prayed together before I left for school and reminded each other that no matter where we are or with who...God stands with us and protects us!  Here's to a great school year!

Baptism Sunday

Today is the day that the Lord has made...Let us rejoice and be glad in it! This is true every day but there's just something about baptism Sunday to get you going.  This year even more so.  Last year Grant wanted to be baptized and we just weren't quite sure he was ready and understood, so we had him wait...so he has been waiting and waiting for this day to arrive...the day that he could show everyone that he wants to live for Jesus!  Woo hoo! Here he is before the service started.

Some people from church have a big pond and large yard area where this is held every year.  There were 20 people baptized today and it was so exciting to see Grant telling how he asked Jesus into his heart and agreeing that he wanted to live for Him.  Here he is giving his short testimony with our Pastor and two of the other younger kids to be baptized.

I think he was a little nervous being in front of the huge crowd...who wouldn't at age 9?...but he is shy anyway, so he was definitely out of his comfort zone.  One by one, each person went in the pond with our pastor and one of the elders to be "dunked".  Get ready Grant...

Washing away the sin and proclaiming the goodness of God in his life...

New in Christ!

I am so proud of him.  I'm proud of the young man he is growing into.  I'm proud that he knows Jesus and wants to serve Him.  I'm proud that even in his shyness he was able to show how he wants to live for Jesus!  We love you Grant and are so very proud to have witnessed you making this decision and be so excited about it.  God has great plans for you and we can't wait to see what they are!

Summertime Fun

I've been bad at blogging all the summer pictures, or at least worse than I had hoped to be.  (Sorry to our PA family.)  The part of summer that Grant's wrist was broken, he got kind of down about not being abl to do some things, so we decided to go mini-golfing to cheer him up.  We had fun and Kiara was a wild woman (why do we expect anything less?).

When we got to the last hole, the balls "disappear" into the hole.  All along the course, Kiara had been getting the balls out of the holes for us..so when she went to get this one, she was a bit confused!

They needed to clean out their final hole as the balls were backing up and she could see them all down there.  Here she is getting a better look!

Finished up...hot and sweaty!

We then decided to hook up the sprinkler in the backyard and wrap up Grant's wrist so he could join in the fun.

Again, wild woman has no fear and would juststand right in the flow of it.

More summer pics to come once they are uploaded.

Love Week 2011

A few weeks back, our church had "Love Week", where we set a goal of hours serving/showing the community the love of Christ.  There were a variety of events scheduled as "church activities" but many didn't feed the needs of my family, with a 3 year old and me getting shots that week and being sore.  So, we came up with our own plan.  We did "little" things like bring in the neighbor's garbage cans, weeding at the park, picking up trash,etc.  The bigger thing that we did was to bake.  How does baking show the love of Christ?  Well, we made cookies, brownies and rice krispies (a lot of them) and then delivered them to a variety of people...from the youth group, to our neighbors, to Daddy's co-workers, to the construction crew at my parent's house.  This was the big one...to the construction crew.  We haven't been "in love" with this crew during this whole process.  That would be putting it mildly!  But, we talked about how showing the love of Christ isn't just for those that we love being around, but those that NEED the love of Christ.  So, the boys delivered the goodies to the crew on a Monday morning.  I think they were shocked at first and then appreciated it.  Something as simple as a container of goodies showed the love of Christ.  I think it has even helped OUR attitude towards them. Here we are making a mess in the kitchen!

Even Kiara got in on the action...she was really good at flipping stuff out of the bowl and being messy!

The kitchen got really messy but we had fun making stuff...mixing in God's love as we went!

And of course...we had to lick the beaters, right?  Yummo!

And Grant didn't think I would actually post this, so I will!  I think he enjoyed the brownie batter! Goofball!

The challenge from that week has been to continue to show the love of Christ wherever we are, whether it is "deserved" or not...after all...none of us DESERVE the love that Christ gives to us and yet He loves us anyway...oh that we could always be like that.