Future Olympians

The boys have been watching the Olympics and especially like the snow sports of skiing, snowboarding and the biathalon which is skiing and shooting.  They went out to play this afternoon before Grandma left for the evening.  As she was going to leave she noticed Grant practicing his own Olympics and shortly after that, Brock joined him in his training, right here on our very own front yard hill. Too cute!

I just love my boys!

Little bug...not Humpty Dumpty?

This is the face that greeted me at the door this afternoon!   I thought that it was marker until I got closer to her.  She loves the story of Humpty Dumpty and makes Grandma read it to her over and over and over.  But...apparently she likes it too much!  Just what is Grandma teaching her while I'm at work? Ha!

Kiara was carrying around a plastic kitchen funnel...apparently she tripped (or had a great fall) and this was the end result after she landed on it.  Ouch!  Doesn't seem to bother her, but it sure looks nasty.

Living on the edge

Our little bug is into EVERYTHING...I'm telling you she is a stinker and is super sneaky...or in my old age she just gets more past me than the boys did.  Anyway...she loves to "help" empty and fill the dryer when doing laundry.  She recently found the button that shuts the light on and off and so she stands and plays with that while we put in laundry.  Well, yesterday, one of the boys was getting clothes out of the dryer and walked away for a second with the dryer open...literally a split second later, this is what we saw....

She is a stinker, but we love her...Of course, she was mad when we took her out and she wanted back in.  Hope she loves doing laundry this much when she is older! HA!

For those not on facebook...

As many of you who are close to me know, the past few weeks and months have been very trying with a lot of neck pain again. I have had all emotions from discouragement to depression to anger at God to desperation to…peace and all of them over again! I try to deal with it a lot all on my own because I don’t want to be a whiner…this resulting in some bottling up and some anger along with it. A few months back when I went back to my family doctor (also a brother in Christ from my church)…he wanted to pray for me and I wouldn’t let him. (at least not right there with me). I told him I was angry at God and although still had faith and love for Him, I just wasn’t speaking to Him that week (wow, that’s not immature is it?) HA! He told me that when I was ready…anytime that he and the other elders from our church would gladly pray for me/over me and anoint me. That was back in November…Fast forward to the last couple of weeks…The pain has gotten significantly worse yet again…I’ve been crying out to God and really have been able to “let go” at church with tears and worship for Him. Music has been a huge inspiration to me (big surprise) and I keep “finding” songs at just the right time for what I need. So, last weekend, as I’m bawling during the worship/communion time. A wonderful friend and small group member came and prayed over me…which made me cry harder. (Thanks Bill) Then my mom came and hugged me (thanks mom) and that’s when I felt God say to me that it was time…time to seek out my doctor/friend and ask him to pray over me. Whew…that was a major step for me and he knew it too. We went to the front of the church and he prayed over me and another good friend of mine joined us and she prayed as well. I just bawled and cried out to God. While good friend (thanks Chris) was praying, my doctor (did I mention he’s an elder?) Anyway…my doctor went and got some anointing oil. We talked about it and not that is magical but a symbol, etc…They then anointed me and prayed over me again. He rubbed the oil directly on “the spot” of my neck and I felt tingling going clear down my spine..seriously. I thought I was imagining it at first…the pain started easing and seemed to be disappearing in the tingling sensation…I wish that was where the story ended and that I could proclaim miraculous healing and go out and be an encouragement to others, using my suffering and story. But, the pain has come back again and it has been even worse this week…why? I don’t know. I have to admit on Monday and part of Tuesday I was a little miffed at God again…why would the tingling and ease of pain happen only to return later in the day with more intensity? I still don’t know the answer to that, but I’m not miffed anymore. Maybe it was God showing me relief as a sign to continue to trust and have faith in Him DESPITE the pain. I don’t know and this week has been miserable with resorting to taking pain meds again to function at home and school and even to sleep at times because it hurts so much. I sit here writing in tears because I want so much to be healed…But I have to submit to HIS timing, not mine. So, as a song I found (through Chris and Mindy) this week says…I’m going to keep believing and crying out to God…knowing that “It’s Going to Be Alright”.

Miracle of Life

I was just going through some pictures on my computer and found this one...

This is Kiara...when she was "younger"...as in, in utero...When we got this picture, I thought oh what a sweetie, she is going to be so cute...and then I came upon this:

Could she BE any cuter?  We had no idea how much of a sweetie and a cutie she would turn out to be...It amazes me daily to see this little girl growing up before my very eyes. I love her so much it hurts! :)

WHINY Day

Yep...that's how I feel today!  I know that it's partially because I'm tired...too late of a night  last night and too early of a morning this morning....But it's just a pouty day for me.  I've had a horrible week with pain and I'm simply exhausted. Exhausted from the pain, (who knew it took so much energy to hurt?), from not sleeping well due to the pain, from faking it all day with teachers and students who have no idea that I even hurt, from exercising through the pain, from having my own little pity party. So, yep...I'm a whiny butt today...I'm okay with that...as long as the pout doesn't last for days and weeks. Besides...God truly is good...and He'll get me through the day with wild students.  This I know.  If you want to join the pity party...go for it. But I have to warn you...It's not a fun party to attend! Ha!

If He's Willing...

This has been an interesting couple of weeks for me…emotionally, physically and definitely spiritually as I am battling within. The physical pain in my neck has increased once again and needless to say I have become frustrated and wondering why God isn’t healing me (in my timing of course ). The song that is playing here (Your Hands by JJ Heller) has been a source of strength or maybe weakness for me. I heard it for the first time one Sunday that I was really down about my neck. I was driving to church and found my mouth hanging open as I heard the first verse and chorus…I cried out to God and said “That’s me…heal me Jesus!” Since then the song has just really stuck with me. I’m clinging to the chorus…When my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your Hands…He IS in control…even know when I feel like He has forgotten me. He’s still holding me.


This past Sunday our pastoral candidate (now our pastor) gave a sermon and in it said a few things that have really struck a chord with me and made me analyze my faith this week. He was talking about the leper in the Bible that came to Jesus and asked Him to heal him IF HE was willing. What? IF He is willing? You mean God might WANT me to be this way long term, or even for the rest of my life???? That’s tough to swallow. My thoughts have gone from “How can I make Him willing?” (yes, I realize that sounds dumb) to “What must He want me to learn still through this?” to “How does He want me to use this to glorify Him RIGHT NOW?” to, “Do I not have enough faith in Him and that is why He doesn’t heal me?” to “What is left for me to learn…it’s been 6 years for goodness sakes?”. I’ve also been made aware during my physical therapy that my pain is really insignificant compared to the pain of others…Mine is bothersome, but can I live with it? Yes…do I want to?…NO!!!

In sharing all of these emotions with a friend yesterday she reminded me of something else in the sermon, that comes from the Bible. Our good friends Rack, Shack and Benny (not their real names ) were going to be thrown in the fiery furnace…they said they were willing to go in because they believed god would save them. That’s the part I’ve always focused on…of course he will save (heal) me…why wouldn’t He? And I think that is faithful…Well, the part that is convicting me is that they went on to say that even if He didn’t save them from the fiery furnace, they would still CHOOSE to follow Him and go in. Wait…WHAT? They are choosing the possibility of suffering?????? Am I willing to do that? Am I willing to trust in Jesus to heal me, but know that if He doesn’t and I go through my ENTIRE lifetime in this pain, (limiting me in my abilities as a wife, mother, friend and teacher) that I still CHOOSE to believe and trust in Him??? Am I willing? Am I able? And honestly my question is…Why would He NOT heal me and force me to endure it? I’m sure Paul wondered the same in the Bible when he had a thorn in his flesh that he had to live with…so who am I that God would choose to heal me over others?

Have I come to any conclusions with all of these thoughts? No. Other than I know I need to get to the place the Rack, Shack and Benny got to ….willing to go through it for His sake. I’m not there yet if I am honest. I hate this pain. It frustrates me. It controls me some days. It is constantly with me and a part of me. It limits me as a person. I’m uncomfortable. I’m not making much progress in physical therapy. I don’t know what step comes next if therapy doesn’t work. Will I be like this forever? I don’t know, but I am choosing to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord…on the road marked with suffering, even when there is pain in the offering”. (like the 2nd song below)