Our Toothless Angel

Wednesday, December 16 was a big day for Kiara! It was her last day of pre-school until after Christmas, her very last pre-school Christmas program AND...the loss of her VERY FIRST TOOTH!  The funny thing was that we didn't realize her tooth was all that loose until then! She said that it really was hurting her at preschool and was loose and was working on it while driving in Grandma's car after school.  It just "fell right out" onto her coat! No pain, no blood! Could she BE any cuter? This face was the one that greeted me at the door when I got home after school and I noticed right away!  Just when I thought she couldn't get any cuter!

 Here she is all ready to go to her last pre-school Christmas program.  She looks like an angel in these pictures in front of the tree.  Don't let that fool you! HA!

 The dress that she has on is a dress that Grandma in Pennsylvania gave her for Christmas. We had Christmas in early November when they came to visit! We were glad she was able to wear it for her program and we couldn't believe she left the bow in her hair the whole time...she is a headband or ponytail kind of gal!

 Here she is after her program on the stage.  She had her own little photo shoot and then proceeded to do some singing and dancing around the stage as well.  That is on video and will be used at a later date I am sure!

 I LOVE this sweet face...both with teeth and without!

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 One last picture with her sweet best buddy, Ella who goes to preschool with her, as well as to church with her.  They are such cute BFF's!

"Lost" or Changed Friendships

I need to blog and I have lots going on in my head and yet nothing is appealing to me to blog about.  I don't feel like uploading pictures, and I don't feel like explaining the journey I have been on the last 4 months, or the last 10 years for that matter.  But something on my brain today ... friendships.  I have a couple friendships that have been life-long friendships, (well, maybe a small pause in the friendships during 7th grade @thebackdoor !)  Those friends have been through my darkest hours (or weeks/months) and my highest of highs.  Those friends are the ones that I have come to rely on and know with all of my heart that they would drop everything for me, no questions asked and I would do the same for them.  I have newer friendships that I see growing into that as well and am thankful for those church gals that God has led me to as well.

Then there are those friendships that have grown near and then grown apart in time for whatever reason. Those friendships too have been so powerful and amazing to me.  I have been feeling melancholy lately over "lost" friendships.  Maybe not lost friendships, but changed friendships.  There are friends that have been such a huge part of my life and pivotal moments in my life that have drifted from me for a variety of reasons...life changes, job changes, new babies entering the picture, busy-ness of our kids, moving away, separating after college...For whatever reason those friendships that have drifted grieve me.  I have been grieving lately the drifting of a few very dear friends.  I saw it coming...knew it was inevitable...but it still hurts.  I'm one of those people that have a few very close friends and don't branch out and really share myself with a lot of people, so when those friendships change it is so hard.  I grieve. I hurt. I ask God why?  Someone recently told me that God brings friends into our lives for a season...a season that is perfectly molded for that friendship. I know it is true, yet so difficult when the seasons change.

I think it has been especially difficult with my job transition this year. Leaving a place that I called home for 12 years has made me realize how much I miss walking down the hallway and just sharing a look with someone and they know just how I need them to pray, or how I am feeling.  I miss being able to be close to someone and have those inside jokes and looks or sayings to get me through the day.  Recently on facebook someone posted that they loved how their co-workers recognized that she needed a hug or a laugh, or a piece of chocolate.  I commented that I really missed that and that I was praying in time I would have it again.  It will come. In time it will come...but for now it is a season of feeling a little bit alone.  Actually at the start of the year I felt COMPLETELY alone...but God is bringing friends into my life.  He is guiding me to other believers that will hep lift me up and not bring me down, encourage me instead of compete with me.  Just today I had an email from a co-worker that lifted me up and was just what I needed to hear.  God is leading and He is leading me to find friendships and people I can trust.  It is hard in the waiting though. I miss those friendships...I long for them...but I know He is taking care of me.

And thank you God that I have those super close friends that are loving me through this crazy life...old or new...I'm thankful for my friends who get me, know me and still love me!

A Decade...really?

Yesterday was another milestone for me. 10 years ago, I had my "episode" where my neck "snapped" and the pain began. 10 years. I had a dream this past week that I woke up on the anniversary and was healed completely with no pain.  I knew it was just a dream, but a part of me longed for it to come true. So, I woke up and as I opened my eyes, discovered that indeed the pain was still there.  It has been such a journey for me and I won't go into details of all that I have tried and endured.  You are welcome to go back through my posts throughout the years and read about it all, but know that I have tried so many treatments, some bizarre, some traditional and have traveled near and far for treatment/help with the neck pain. To no avail.  I have days where I feel hopeless and overwhelmed, but most days I can honestly see and feel God working in the midst of this pain.  I have seen results in the last 10 years. Not with the pain, but my opportunity to witness to others about my faith in a God who strengthens me and empowers me to continue each day and praise Him in the midst of it. He is my strength and my relationship with Him has grown stronger and more dependent upon Him as each day passes.  I have had opportunity to give testimony, encourage others, come along-side others suffering with compassion and urgency to pray with them and stand by them in their trials. And God has led me to different people at just the time that I needed encouragement as well.  With changing schools this year, the new staffs don't know of my struggle with pain and it isn't something that just comes up easily in the lounge. My sweet friend, Chris began praying for a co-worker to be able to confide in....the VERY next day, a woman that I had little interaction with during the day began speaking scripture to me and proclaiming victory over the pain through Christ after hearing someone from church ask me how my pain was. Wow! I wish that I could say that the journey of pain is over.  But it's not and I realized yesterday as I reflected over the last 10 years that if God has seen me through all of it this far...including a pregnancy, change in jobs and some pretty hard trials outside of it...that He will continue to take care of me...even if I am never healed this side of heaven.  I won't lie and say that I don't continue to ask to be healed.  Oh how I long to be "normal" again...but I KNOW with my whole being that He will provide for me each and every day and that at the end of the day, I will be able to praise Him and give Him the glory for providing the energy and strength that I need for each moment.
This morning at church it was our annual "Celebration Service" where we praise and honor Him for all He is doing in our lives.  As I sat there with my neck throbbing and my body feeling exhausted, I felt God saying to me...Yes, you hurt, but look what I have done, continue to do and have yet to do!!!  As I heard God speaking that to me, we went on to sing one of my favorite songs,
10,0000 Reasons by Matt Redman...the whole song is awesome but these words struck me today.

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning,
It's time to sing your song again.
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me...
Let me be singing when the evening comes..
Bless the Lord, O My Soul, O My Soul
Worship His Holy name. Sing like never before,
O My Soul, I'll worship Your Holy name!

You see...it's been 10 years with much suffering and pain, but it has been 10 years that I have seen God work like I NEVER had before.  So whether I have a month, 10 months, 10 years or a lifetime left in this pain...I know that at the end of the day, I can worship His name and know that the next day is a new day to honor Him through the pain. I am being refined and refuse to let the pain win, but instead MUST turn the honor and glory to Him for the strength He provides daily.

It's JUST hair, right?

A few years back I had a student that made a huge impact on my life.  One day at lunch she told me how bad her head was hurting and I told her to be sure she told mom and dad and that she might need her eyes checked...just a short time later, she was diagnosed with a form of brain cancer.  I watched this tough and sweet girl fight this cancer, lose her hair, become tiny and frail (she wasn't big to begin with)...and she never gave up.  The community surrounded her with fundraisers, t-shirts, bracelets, pins and more.  I remember when she came back to school that I was worried how kids would react to her with no hair and looking frail.  Some days she chose to wear a wig and other days a bandana type skull cap over her head.  I remember telling her it was "just hair"...it'll grow back.  Fast forward about 4 1/2 years (I think).  My life had been turned upside down with a huge job adjustment and an emotional roller coaster that came with leaving my "home" of my previous school.  I was looking for something to do for myself and thought about a new hair style.  I had NO idea what I wanted to do with it and had spent so long growing it out, I hated to cut layers.  The thought of Locks of Love crossed my mind, but I wasn't sure I could take cutting ALL of my hair off.  Here I am on the first day of this school year...

One weekend I was scrolling on facebook and found a picture of a former student's mom who had just donated her hair and she looked simply SMASHING!  Her hair was adorable and her face was glowing...I commented that I loved it and had thought of doing the same thing but was scared to cut it after growing it so long.  She told me that it was JUST hair and that it would grow back...I was taken right back to my encouragement of my student with the brain tumor... I knew I was supposed to do it.  I called and set up the appointment before I had a chance to change my mind.  I wasn't nervous at all the day of. I was so excited to do it but didn't tell many people, wanting it to be a surprise (maybe in case I chickened out!)  Kiara came with me for moral support and to take some pictures.
Here we are before getting out of the car.  She had to kiss my hair and tell it good-bye.

My hairdresser asked me several times if I was sure and without a doubt, I knew I was ready.  I was smiling and couldn't wait for that ponytail snip...We were trying to decide if I should do 10 inches or 8 inches and I reminded myself that it was JUST hair and so go for 10 inches...here it is all ready to cut off!

And here it is...10 inches that will make a wig for a child somewhere so that they don't have to feel self-conscious about whatever illness they have that has made them lose their hair. BIG SMILES!!!

And the final product.  I always said I would never do an angled hair style, but as she made the snip, I looked in the mirror and thought it was too cute so I would give it a try.  My look has been nicknamed "The Sassy Mama" look.  I love it.  It has taken some getting used to, but it feels fun, different and just what I needed to do.

I made a poster page for each of my schools showing the before/during/after pictures and telling that I sent the hair to Locks of Love.  As I was explaining to the kids about why I cut my hair and that a child somewhere would wear a wig made of my hair, one little girl said it so sweetly...She raised her hand and very excitedly said, "Mrs. Witmer, it's like you are going to be a part of that little kid and really make them feel good".  Yes, part of me did it for me as I just needed to shake things up a bit, but part of me remembered that sweet girl a few years back who refused to give up and just wanted to be normal like the rest of the kids.  She made such an impact on me and I pray that my hair can have an impact on someone else that I will never know about. Thank you to my student K.R. for inspiring me and reminding me years later (without even knowing) that it is JUST hair and it will grow back!

Here I am well-adjusted to the haircut!  Love the feel of it!  And it's so easy to do too!

This week I got my certificate from Locks of Love showing they received my hair!

A Series of events...all for a job

I have taken a break from the blogging world for awhile now.  Not really because I wanted to, but because I have simply needed to.  So much to catch up on, but tonight I need to tell a story about a series of events that led me right where God wanted me.
Rewind to July 29th...We had been on vacation to Phil's family for a week and were starting our journey home.  About 4 hours into the 11-12 hour drive, Kiara starts crying, then screaming and then throws up all over the car.  As I try to reach her in the back until we can pull off at a rest stop, my text message alert goes off (around 10:00 pm). I check as I was going to text for some prayers for Kiara and see that my mom has sent me a message that there is a job opening right here in my hometown, the job that I have always said would be the ONLY job for which I would leave where I was.  As I cleaned up Kiara and the car and we re-adjusted the seating so I could be in the back, I began to pray for wisdom..."Really, Lord...is this it?  Is it finally time for me?  Will I even get an interview? Can I stand the heartbreak of not getting hired? Where do YOU want me Lord?"  Of course that was all in between me asking God to settle Kiara's stomach and keep her from getting sick anymore as we drove all night to get home. (luckily she slept and did well the rest of the trip--we think she was carsick from going through the mountains). 
Anyway, we made it home and I spent about 7-8 hours at the computer filling out the application, taking an on-line test, writing a resume (haven't needed one in 12 years), collecting test scores and copies of licenses, cover letters etc to be submitted right away, as the posting ended on the 31st (Wed). My stomach churned, my mind raced and I slept little those next few nights.  After submitting everything online I asked some friends in the corporation to say a few good words to the principals for me, thinking I should pull out all the stops and go for it.  On Thursday morning first thing one of the principals called me and asked me to do a phone interview that afternoon. Yikes! The good news was that I didn't have long to be nervous and could sit in capris and a ponytail for the interview...the bad news was it was all coming at me so fast my head was spinning and I was a mess!  After about 1 hr. 20 minute phone interview with the two principals I was told that they would let me know over the weekend if I would receive a 2nd interview the following week early and they hoped to make a decision by Wednesday.  Unfortunately, I also had to make a phone call to my principal because they had already called him for a reference.  Totally felt like throwing up! 
When I called, he was wonderful!  I cried and he let me know that he completely understood why I was applying and knew this was THE ONE position I would leave for. He told me he gave a good recommendation, wished me luck (sort of --ha) and told me to let him know as soon as I knew anything at all.
Did I mention that in the midst of all of this stress, my oldest son failed his physical for sports and had to have and EKG and echocardiogram?  Talk about a mess...that was ME!  Stress wasn't just my middle name...it was my ENTIRE name. Geesh.  As I was in the echocardiogram for my oldest son, my phone rang and I recognized the principal's number but obviously couldn't take the call during the test.  As soon as we got to the lobby I listened to the voicemail and it just asked me to return his call, so I told Brock there was NO way I was driving an hour home without calling the principal back.  So off to the parking lot we went for me to call the principal back.  I was a ball of nerves and had been praying all morning (and the day before) for God to just make it really clear for me, that I wouldn't be strung along and wondering what was going to happen and that I would know HIS plan for me in this.

When I got a hold of the principal he told me that I had interviewed very well (in a tone of voice that I was sure would be followed by a...BUT...).  He said in fact that I had interviewed so well that they wanted to skip the sit-down interview and just offer me the job on the spot after not even meeting in person.  I was shocked, excited and began to cry...not so professional, huh?  Could God make it any clearer to me?  I had asked for a slammed door or one flung wide open and He provided clearly.  After 15 years of wanting so badly to be on the same schedule as my kids with breaks, delays, etc...and it is finally happening. I cried tears of joy and talked non-stop.  THEN...I realized I would have to resign, tell the principal at my "old" school, let some very dear friends/colleagues know I was leaving, clean out my room and I had a melt down...I cried and sobbed on the phone with one of those dear friends/colleagues.  We both knew that God provided and had laid out this plan for me, but goodbyes are so incredibly hard.  Things will change and I won't be in daily contact with those people, which will be incredibly hard. 

A phone call to my principal to resign held much the same. Tears from me and great understanding from him of why I was resigning and no hard feelings.  He was so supportive and wonderful and for that I am truly grateful.  We set up a time for the next morning (Saturday) to meet at the school to turn in my keys and clean out my room.  My mom came with me to help the process along, lend moral support and just be my friend.  I was fine until I looked around that last time and realized it wasn't my room anymore and the tears came again.  How could I be so excited about a new adventure, yet so devastated? Truly bittersweet emotions flying around.

The next week was a whirlwind with much stress, tears, excitement, HOURS of work (including a new teacher induction for 4.5 days), and getting ready to start over. I went all that week to the induction and my rooms to get them ready, had the following Monday off with the kids and started Tuesday. Definitely a whirlwind without time to breathe it felt like.
So, how's it going?  Well....that is for another post...or maybe even several as I journal through this journey God is leading me through...
Oh...and Brock's test results came back fine and he returned to football practice. Whew...Glad that couple weeks of stress is over...THAT couple of weeks anyway...it continues with different things...
I'll keep you posted on the journey...

What a Morning!!!

Well, what a morning we have had.  I have to laugh now that it's over.  Actually as I felt like screaming DURING the craziness I began laughing.  Let's see...I'll list some of the things that went wrong or at least not the way we would have liked.
* Had to get up early to walk and get Grant to the dentist by 7:30.
* My neck pain is pretty rough today.
* Kiara slept 1 1/2 hours past normal time and we had to get her moving quickly to go to the farm.
* Grant forgot to take his boots to the barn and was wearing his good sneakers.
* We couldn't find "Big Mama" our yearling sheep this morning...after searching we had discovered she had crawled under the manger and was stuck with no way out and we had to remove the boards to pull her out.
* The wheel fell off our walking cart for the sheep as we were walking them.
* I forgot to feed Kiara breakfast before going to the barn.
* We had to race to feed the sheep to get Grant to football camp on time...not to mention all of those red lights we hit and slow cars we got behind! Oops...I just mentioned it.

So as I sit here giggling about it all...I realize that there were hidden blessings to all of it, or at least good end results (for the most part). So I will redefine them a bit.
* My walk was done before 7:00 and now I have the whole day to do other stuff.
* In all the craziness I didn't have time to dwell on my pain. Still hurts but I forgot amidst the craziness!
* Kiara SLEPT IN!  That NEVER happens. Hopefully that translates into a good mood all day (so far so good)
* Grant's sneakers will clean up...would rather not have to do it, but it's okay.
* We got "Big Mama" out and she was not hurt at all and was anxious to walk as she had been cooped up.
* We found the parts to the wheel within a couple of feet of where we were standing and the boys and I were able to put it all back together quickly and keep going.
* Kiara just ran inside at Grandma's for a little snack to make it through!
* We used great teamwork to get it all one in a timely fashion, regardless of the craziness and still get Grant to football camp on time!

Oh...and I can giggle about it all.  Here's hoping the rest of the day washing/shearing sheep goes better than our morning did!  But if not...I bet God will show me the hidden blessings in that as well!

Kids catch up

Spring is always busy for us, but this year seemed to simply be a whirlwind.  Between school activities, soccer, track, concerts, birthdays, t-ball, baseball, 4-H projects and church activities, we felt like we went from March to the end of May in the blink of an eye.  Here are just a few highlights in pictures as I try to catch up...

Grant's last music concert in elementary school.  Where has the time gone? Gotta love that orange recorder (smiles)!

SOCCER!!!! Both boys played soccer.  Brock's team really struggled this year and did not win a game the whole season, but there was definite improvement and Brock had a good time playing. He loves to play forward, but spent most of his time as a mid-fielder.

#5!

Kiara, bless her heart went to all of the games and was so good (for the most part).  She learned what quarters were and KNEW when it was the last one each time and could announce when she heard the whistle that it was OVER!  Here she entertains herself ON Brock while watching Grant play.

Brock also ran track this spring.  He often would have double practices (track and then straight to soccer) or practice for track and go right to a soccer game. He was a TIRED kid this spring. There were nights he asked to go to bed early as he was just physically exhausted!

He ran the 1600 and the 800. Some meets he would do both and other times the coach would have him just do one event.  He would always shock us with a HUGE push at the end (last 200 meters) where he normally would pass a couple of runners ahead of him.  Soccer was his favorite sport to play, but track...well, his girlfriend was in track...so it was nearly a tie for his favorite! HA!

This year Phil coached Grant's soccer team. They couldn't find a coach and were going to cancel the team, so Phil stepped up to coach.  Grant was ecstatic about it. I think Phil got a new appreciation for my job as a teacher with the kids not listening to a word he said!  They had a great season and won the majority of their games. They had several kids on the team that were very good. 

Back when the boys started playing, I said my only rule was neither would be a goalie...hmmmm....Phil didn't listen to me!  He put Grant in goal several games and although I cringed and worried the whole time, he did very well and had some great saves!

One game it was especially warm, so Brock made a tent out of a blanket and chairs for Kiara and him to keep cool under.  It might have involved some bickering...but, at least they were cool while they bickered.

Much more happened this spring with the start of baseball and t-ball, as well as a quick trip back to Pennsylvania...but more on that in the next blog.