A Decade...really?

Yesterday was another milestone for me. 10 years ago, I had my "episode" where my neck "snapped" and the pain began. 10 years. I had a dream this past week that I woke up on the anniversary and was healed completely with no pain.  I knew it was just a dream, but a part of me longed for it to come true. So, I woke up and as I opened my eyes, discovered that indeed the pain was still there.  It has been such a journey for me and I won't go into details of all that I have tried and endured.  You are welcome to go back through my posts throughout the years and read about it all, but know that I have tried so many treatments, some bizarre, some traditional and have traveled near and far for treatment/help with the neck pain. To no avail.  I have days where I feel hopeless and overwhelmed, but most days I can honestly see and feel God working in the midst of this pain.  I have seen results in the last 10 years. Not with the pain, but my opportunity to witness to others about my faith in a God who strengthens me and empowers me to continue each day and praise Him in the midst of it. He is my strength and my relationship with Him has grown stronger and more dependent upon Him as each day passes.  I have had opportunity to give testimony, encourage others, come along-side others suffering with compassion and urgency to pray with them and stand by them in their trials. And God has led me to different people at just the time that I needed encouragement as well.  With changing schools this year, the new staffs don't know of my struggle with pain and it isn't something that just comes up easily in the lounge. My sweet friend, Chris began praying for a co-worker to be able to confide in....the VERY next day, a woman that I had little interaction with during the day began speaking scripture to me and proclaiming victory over the pain through Christ after hearing someone from church ask me how my pain was. Wow! I wish that I could say that the journey of pain is over.  But it's not and I realized yesterday as I reflected over the last 10 years that if God has seen me through all of it this far...including a pregnancy, change in jobs and some pretty hard trials outside of it...that He will continue to take care of me...even if I am never healed this side of heaven.  I won't lie and say that I don't continue to ask to be healed.  Oh how I long to be "normal" again...but I KNOW with my whole being that He will provide for me each and every day and that at the end of the day, I will be able to praise Him and give Him the glory for providing the energy and strength that I need for each moment.
This morning at church it was our annual "Celebration Service" where we praise and honor Him for all He is doing in our lives.  As I sat there with my neck throbbing and my body feeling exhausted, I felt God saying to me...Yes, you hurt, but look what I have done, continue to do and have yet to do!!!  As I heard God speaking that to me, we went on to sing one of my favorite songs,
10,0000 Reasons by Matt Redman...the whole song is awesome but these words struck me today.

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning,
It's time to sing your song again.
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me...
Let me be singing when the evening comes..
Bless the Lord, O My Soul, O My Soul
Worship His Holy name. Sing like never before,
O My Soul, I'll worship Your Holy name!

You see...it's been 10 years with much suffering and pain, but it has been 10 years that I have seen God work like I NEVER had before.  So whether I have a month, 10 months, 10 years or a lifetime left in this pain...I know that at the end of the day, I can worship His name and know that the next day is a new day to honor Him through the pain. I am being refined and refuse to let the pain win, but instead MUST turn the honor and glory to Him for the strength He provides daily.