Miracle of Life

I was just going through some pictures on my computer and found this one...

This is Kiara...when she was "younger"...as in, in utero...When we got this picture, I thought oh what a sweetie, she is going to be so cute...and then I came upon this:

Could she BE any cuter?  We had no idea how much of a sweetie and a cutie she would turn out to be...It amazes me daily to see this little girl growing up before my very eyes. I love her so much it hurts! :)

WHINY Day

Yep...that's how I feel today!  I know that it's partially because I'm tired...too late of a night  last night and too early of a morning this morning....But it's just a pouty day for me.  I've had a horrible week with pain and I'm simply exhausted. Exhausted from the pain, (who knew it took so much energy to hurt?), from not sleeping well due to the pain, from faking it all day with teachers and students who have no idea that I even hurt, from exercising through the pain, from having my own little pity party. So, yep...I'm a whiny butt today...I'm okay with that...as long as the pout doesn't last for days and weeks. Besides...God truly is good...and He'll get me through the day with wild students.  This I know.  If you want to join the pity party...go for it. But I have to warn you...It's not a fun party to attend! Ha!

If He's Willing...

This has been an interesting couple of weeks for me…emotionally, physically and definitely spiritually as I am battling within. The physical pain in my neck has increased once again and needless to say I have become frustrated and wondering why God isn’t healing me (in my timing of course ). The song that is playing here (Your Hands by JJ Heller) has been a source of strength or maybe weakness for me. I heard it for the first time one Sunday that I was really down about my neck. I was driving to church and found my mouth hanging open as I heard the first verse and chorus…I cried out to God and said “That’s me…heal me Jesus!” Since then the song has just really stuck with me. I’m clinging to the chorus…When my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your Hands…He IS in control…even know when I feel like He has forgotten me. He’s still holding me.


This past Sunday our pastoral candidate (now our pastor) gave a sermon and in it said a few things that have really struck a chord with me and made me analyze my faith this week. He was talking about the leper in the Bible that came to Jesus and asked Him to heal him IF HE was willing. What? IF He is willing? You mean God might WANT me to be this way long term, or even for the rest of my life???? That’s tough to swallow. My thoughts have gone from “How can I make Him willing?” (yes, I realize that sounds dumb) to “What must He want me to learn still through this?” to “How does He want me to use this to glorify Him RIGHT NOW?” to, “Do I not have enough faith in Him and that is why He doesn’t heal me?” to “What is left for me to learn…it’s been 6 years for goodness sakes?”. I’ve also been made aware during my physical therapy that my pain is really insignificant compared to the pain of others…Mine is bothersome, but can I live with it? Yes…do I want to?…NO!!!

In sharing all of these emotions with a friend yesterday she reminded me of something else in the sermon, that comes from the Bible. Our good friends Rack, Shack and Benny (not their real names ) were going to be thrown in the fiery furnace…they said they were willing to go in because they believed god would save them. That’s the part I’ve always focused on…of course he will save (heal) me…why wouldn’t He? And I think that is faithful…Well, the part that is convicting me is that they went on to say that even if He didn’t save them from the fiery furnace, they would still CHOOSE to follow Him and go in. Wait…WHAT? They are choosing the possibility of suffering?????? Am I willing to do that? Am I willing to trust in Jesus to heal me, but know that if He doesn’t and I go through my ENTIRE lifetime in this pain, (limiting me in my abilities as a wife, mother, friend and teacher) that I still CHOOSE to believe and trust in Him??? Am I willing? Am I able? And honestly my question is…Why would He NOT heal me and force me to endure it? I’m sure Paul wondered the same in the Bible when he had a thorn in his flesh that he had to live with…so who am I that God would choose to heal me over others?

Have I come to any conclusions with all of these thoughts? No. Other than I know I need to get to the place the Rack, Shack and Benny got to ….willing to go through it for His sake. I’m not there yet if I am honest. I hate this pain. It frustrates me. It controls me some days. It is constantly with me and a part of me. It limits me as a person. I’m uncomfortable. I’m not making much progress in physical therapy. I don’t know what step comes next if therapy doesn’t work. Will I be like this forever? I don’t know, but I am choosing to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord…on the road marked with suffering, even when there is pain in the offering”. (like the 2nd song below)

Visit from the In-Laws!

A couple of weeks ago, we had the privilege of having hubby's parents come visit us for the weekend.  Since they are from a distance away, this was the first time since Phil and I had been married that they were out at Christmas time...so the first time they could see our house and tree decorated for Christmas.  It was nice to share this with them. The week that they came, unfortunately the kids had all been sick on Monday and Tuesday and I was sick from school on Thursday.  They arrived on Friday and we were praying we had disinfected sufficiently so they would not get the flu.  We had a nice time with them Friday and Saturday and then Phil got sick on Sunday and was in bed all day, which was a bummer. But luckily, hubby and father in law finished a couple projects here at the house on Saturday and we had our Christmas on that evening when we were all still healthy.  Knock on wood that the in-laws are still healthy and haven't gotten it, amazingly.  Here are a few pictures of our visit with them that weekend.

The picture by the computer...is Paw-Paw and all three kids watching the Broncos game online...of course...we live in the Midwest so we never get the games on tv...so they were watching intently...only to watch them lose in the last minute of the game. ARGH!

A day in the life of a 10 year old

Brock had his surgery yesterday for his hernia.   I was amazed at how calm and collected he was the whole time.  We got to the hospital and registered.  They took us back to the room and told us we had been bumped to the second surgery of the day so it would take a bit longer...We waited...and waited...and waited.  Our pastor came and prayed with Brock and explained to him that he had special privileges at the hospital because Jesus was there with him.  Then, we waited some more....luckily some friends of ours had come to sit with Tricia, so the time went fairly quickly...Finally at 11:15 they came and took Brock back for surgery.  He kissed me goodbye and was on his way.  The entire wait, he never once acted nervous or worried and even told me I didn't need to kiss him twice!  He got back to the room around 12:45 and was glad to see Daddy had made it over his lunch time.  And he was HUNGRY AND THIRSTY!  And ready to go home.  So, he got a rootbeer, some pizza and some pudding.  We finally were released and got him home around 2:00 PM.  He is doing remarkably well and is HATING being on the couch.  I've let him play some, but in small spurts.  I am so proud of him and how brave he was.  He never cried or acted like it was a big deal at all.  We are so thankful for everyone's prayers..They made the difference I am sure of it!

Pictures are of his bed upon arrival, Brock ready to leave for surgery, Brock with his root beer after surgery, Brock and Daddy chatting about how brave he was afterwards, Balloons and a bear from Aunt Julie and Uncle Andy!

Winter fun!

Yes, I have some things to catch up on and I really should do Christmas photos first, but thought these pictures were adorable and needed to get them on here for my in-laws to see.  Kiara's first time in the snow!!!!!!!  She wasn't too sure at first and didn't know what was going on.  Then Daddy put her in the sled and off she went with each big brother.  We then got the toddler sled out and she was able to sit up much better in it without help from brothers!  By the end she was smiling and talking as Daddy pulled her around the yard.  She was a little miffed when Mommy and her came inside and the boys and Daddy stayed outside for longer to play some snow football!  She cried at the window and hit it a few times...and then decided to sit and play and watch them.  I love watching my kids in the snow, usually from indoors since I'm not a big cold weather person...And seeing Kiara for the first time was special too.  Also, by the end of her time outside she was eating snow and saying, "YUM! YUM!".  Too cute.  So, here are my snow angels...well, angel and two football gurus!

a month???? already?

Has it really been an entire month since I have blogged at all?  Wow...Much has happened in that month that I could blog about, but life has been such a whirwind that it hasn't happened.  I'm exhausted after not sleeping much last night, but am waiting on the sweating to stop after working out, so thought I'd share a couple of pictures.  (Sorry, was that too much info for you...about sweating?)  Anyway...for the first time in our married life, we took the fam to get a Christmas tree the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend.  We always wait until December, but hubby was up for it, so we jumped at the chance and off we went....we went to one place that we often go...not open until the next week...so then I mention a place that a friend from church had mentioned...so we drove to try to find that one...found it....yep, you guessed it...opening the following week...at this point the kids were getting very disappointed (so was I).  We decided to drive through the Lowe's parking lot to see if they had any.  They did!!!  So we figured we wouldn't find any decent ones but vowed to at least look.  The very first tree we looked at was the one we agreed on after looking at quite a few others.  AND...the best part was that it was waaaaaayyyy cheaper than the other places...ahhhh.  A bargain and a Christmas tree????  I was in heaven! HA!  Anyway...we came home, put it up together, Daddy strung the lights.  The kids and I put on the decorations and we are happily basking in it's glow ever since!  Kiara likes to peek out from behind it as you can see from the one picture.  But, thankfully, she doesn't seem to even want to bother with it.  It poked her once and apparently she learned her lesson! HA!