Forgetting...

I originally started this post in November...and I keep putting it off and putting it off...I just wanted to have everything "perfect" when I posted it.  But I decided tonight that although I am exhausted and really need to be in bed, I NEED to write this post.  Bear with me...the ending is worth the read!  So, the reason the post started in November was that on November 9 it was 8 years to the day that I had been suffering from my neck pain.  In August/October I was told that my pain would be with me for the rest of my days and I was coming to terms with what that would mean for me emotionally and physically...living with pain for years and years more.  As I have thought about this post, I have gone back and read through an assortment of my blogs over the years of this pain journey and I cried, smiled, laughed and wondered at what all God has led me through and know that indeed He has never left me.  One thing that stuck out to me in former posts was what I was forgetting...In those 8 years, I had forgotten:
...what normal "me" was like...what it was like to NOT have pain...what a good night's sleep felt like...what it was like to NOT start my day with Tylenol and continue it all day long...what it was like to always be real with people instead of pretending to be good...what it was like to do ANYTHING without thinking of my neck and how it would affect the pain....
Then on October 15 I began drinking a nutrient rich drink called zija smart-mix...I had heard about it through a high school friend and went to an informational meeting about it...the testimonials of the relief and healing it was bringing to people made me think that it was worth a try.  If it didn't make the pain better, it would certainly make me healthier, right?  After about a week of daily drinks, I could feel my energy level shooting through the roof.  After a few weeks of it, I realized the pain was lessening in it's intensity.  Was it all in my head?  I was sure that it was to be honest.  I didn't tell my hubby how it was working for 6 weeks or so.  The funny thing was that I went 4 days in a row that I would get in the car to drive to school and think "Oh shoot, I forgot to take my Tylenol"...by that 4th day I cried when I realized it...I hadn't gone 4 days without Tylenol in over 8 years...of all the things that I forgot in those 8 years (listed above), forgetting Tylenol NEVER made the list.  I have been taking the drink for 4 months now and how do I feel by now?   INCREDIBLE!  I am not 100% pain free, but I feel simply amazing compared to the 8 years before.  At a time when I had given up hope and was trusting God for daily strength, He provided a facebook message from a high school friend that would bring me healing.  AMAZING!  Someone asked me one day if I wished that I had found zija 8 years ago...my answer may be surprising...NO, I don't.  What??????  I really don't.  The journey that God brought me on has been amazing...hard to handle and devastating at times, but those times were the times that I leaned on God and drew from His strength and gained so much more.  I think of where I was 8 years ago with the Lord??  Praise God that He brought me through that mess so that I can more fully know Him and give Him honor and glory that He so deserves!  I have enjoyed the last few months of experimenting who the real "me" is again.  My family has their wife/mom/daughter back...I rough-house with the kids, gave my daughter a horsey ride to bed tonight, paint ceilings and walls, sand drywall, rearrange furniture...and worship with a fervor that overwhelms me.  God is so incredibly good and I feel so blessed tonight as I write this.  One of the songs that I have been singing/shouting out randomly is "Praise God! Praise God! Praise God who saved my soul!  Praise God! Praise God!  Praise God from whom all blessings flow!"  The blessings have been flowing for the last 8 years and I can't wait to see what He will do with me now that I feel so awesome..the blessings continue to flow!  Blessed be His name!!!!!!!